Feeling empty, rejected, betrayed, unseen, unrecognized, unacknowledged, invalidated, over compensating, proving, having this deep desire to help and fix others, over extending one’s self always and compromising on one’s own needs, always comes from a deep space of feeling unloved within.
Whatever be the reason for not feeling loved, it is the root cause of all our problems.
Lack of love causes lack of abundance.
Feeling unloved has a potential to create deep rooted financial issues as well. When we feel deeply unloved, we set our inner programming to something is wrong with me, leading to feeling deeply small, unworthy, inadequate within.
This could lead us to living highly disempowering lives. We either over compensate by being obsessed with seeking material pleasures or our finances get depleted and inadequate as well.
Feeling unloved (lack of love) leads to several addictions
When we feel deeply unloved, we tend to fill that void of love through work, sex, smoking, alcohol, food, other substances, over giving, over mothering, through relationships, travel or any other over indulgence.
Addictions are nothing but our own unconscious way of seeking to fill that emptiness or void (internal) through something (external).
Feeling unloved creates health issues.
When I was a child, I used to fall ill very frequently. When I grew up and embarked on the journey of my healing, I attended a course in hypnotherapy. During the course, we were connecting with our inner children. I took up this issue of my acidity.
When we regressed to the past, it was uncovered that the illness was the child self’s way of screaming for love and attention.
Yes, feeling unloved creates health issues.
Feeling unloved creates failure in relationships
When we feel deeply unloved within, we seek to fill that emptiness by seeking love outside. When we seek to enter into a relationship from a space of feeling unworthy, unloved within, we tend to get clingy or co dependant in our relationships. We either land up over giving (without realizing it), we lose our self even more and we seek the other to make us feel better through the external love or attention.
But the hole that is lurking inside doesn’t get filled no matter how much external love comes in. That void continues to exist like a never ending pit. A wounded girl feeling unloved WILL attract a wounded boy feeling unloved or who will further project that feeling of being unloved in her by his unconscious actions.
A wounded boy WILL attract a wounded girl who no matter how much she loves him, he will never feel enough and he will continue seeking it and thirsting for it like an endless well which never gets full and never feels fulfilled. She will continue projecting his void in some way or the other and both will create another recipe for disaster or a dysfunction.
Feeling unloved creates Anger / Violence /Abuse / Depression
Many a times the only expression of our pain that we feel is through our anger. Anger many times is a result of feeling violated or unloved within.
When one feels unloved, the deep rooted belief that develops in a person is “I am not loved because something might be wrong with me.” This creates deep unworthiness and feeling of being small within.
When we feel small inside, we always try to compensate this feeling either by projecting our flamboyance or by proving we are superior to the other. This itself begins the fall of all good within.
This proving or unworthiness often leads to extreme projections of greed, control, violence and abuse.
Depression
When we feel rejected or unloved by one or all, we unconsciously tend to reject the Self. We forget who we are in order to fit in. This rejection of the Self often creates disassociation, disconnection, deep sense of sadness emanating from this disconnection from one’s true self and in extreme cases anxiety and depression.
We all long for feeling connected and this connection begins with our own self. When we feel unloved, we lose trust in the process of life, we lose our childlike innocence in the wonderment of life and it often leads to feeling disappointed, angry, disheartened and frustrated with life.
These are but a few evils of feeling unloved. And yet we run for seeking the fulfillment of love through external measures like money, greed, control, relationships, substances, work, sex etc.
So what is the solution? Well there isn’t any except the realization that if we have been deeply unloved by the other, it now becomes our primary responsibility to love one’s own child self.
More on this to follow. Until then chew on these.
Have a love filled 2021.