Our entire society has forgotten the importance of honoring our emotions.
“Be strong,” don’t cry, oh don’t be angry, how can you be jealous, be happy (don’t be sad), blah blah blah. All these superficial statements that we are fed since we are a child.
“Be strong” -we create a wall. We get into proving how superior and right we are every time. We fail to see other people’s point of view. We forget how to be raw and vulnerable. We forget how to be genuine and authentic. We wear the ‘mask’ of “being strong” all the time, whereas deep down we are very, very weak and our soul is crying. But how can we show that to the world?
The mind has been fed “I need to be strong” in order to survive. Our masks make us feel adequate, albeit quite artificially so. Don’t cry -We learn how to suppress our grief and sorrow. Crying is weak. Crying is shamed. Crying makes us look not strong. We have been taught to be strong, but we can’t even cry. Because crying brings us face to face with our grief and pain. And being face to face with our pain takes a tonne of courage and strength. But we are already wearing the mask of being strong. Yes, its a mask. Don’t be angry -How many times have we been shamed for being angry or aggressive. Particularly in this new age, illusionary rules which talk of love and light.
So what do we do?
We suppress all the darkness. We suppress all our shadows.
(a) Because I have to live up to the mask
(b) because society has taught me anger is bad.
But I have forgotten to acknowledge, it is the same anger which has brought revolution in many parts of the world. It has helped people fight great injustices to them and to their near and dear ones.
When our mother is angry with us, she is driving us for our greater good. When the universe is angry, it makes us want to pause and reflect upon our journey.
Anger helps us draw boundaries. Anger has many gifts.
But I have been taught and fed that anger is not good. Love is the only way. But there is anger because I love too much. There is anger because I have not felt honored in some way. It is a gift. It is a teacher.
But what do we do?
Because it is bad, we stuff it inside rather than learning how to harness it, how to connect to it, and how to channel it. So it comes out as violence. It comes out as a schoolchild shooting a gun at a co-student.
It comes out as a husband hitting his wife because she forgot to pack his bags or turn on the heater.
Yes, This is where we are as a collective. With too much wounding and too much pain. That we are even afraid to look at it in the eye and feel it.
Yes, this is where the New Age science or spirituality has gone wrong.
In indigenous societies, there was immense importance given to how a person feels. The person could go through grief and pain without feeling threatened by it. Without feeling overwhelmed by it.
What would it take for us to look at this wounding and not be overwhelmed or threatened by it? What would it take for us to teach our own self and our children how important emotions are and how to harness their energy and gifts so that they do not become something to be ashamed of but rather treat as energy which can create momentum and blessings in our life.