by Neelam Nanwani | Feb 20, 2022 | Soul Words
When we (me & Paul ) visited Zion National Park in Utah, US May 2018, we stopped by at the museum which was playing a movie on Zion National Park, the Virgin river forming the canyon, various movements of earth across millions of years which gave birth to Zion National Park.
They were explaining how different forces of nature, cause changes over millions of years and how they influence in the formation of the canyon and these huge stand stones and rocks. The documentary talked about how the river keeps moving and along with forces of nature, even today, certain portions of the rocks keep getting eroded, forming new path ways, forcing the river to shift its course and form new path ways as well.
The one line from the documentary that has always stayed with me is this :- “Zion National Park” is a “Masterpiece and a work in progress”.
The river keeps carving new pathways influenced by the various elements and the weather.
Every thing is a cause and effect. Everything is ever changing, fluid, imperfect yet beautiful.
There is full allowance of destruction and re creation.
This is such so true about all of life, isn’t’ it… And also about all of us. Only if were to embody and accept this truth. The gift and beauty of who we already are and yet we are also a work in progress.
If each one of us were to embrace this truth “We are a master piece and work in progress”, our inner consciousness and outer consciousness would shift so effortlessly and magnanimously, isn’t it??
So many blocks to self worth would dissolve automatically and gone would be years of programming …. pooof.
You ARE a master piece AND work in progress.
by Neelam Nanwani | Feb 18, 2022 | Soul Words
When we grow in our self worth, we don’t get affected by judgements.
When we grow in self worth, the voice of our inner critic goes down.
When we grow in our self worth it is easy to speak our truth.
When we grow in our self worth, whether people agree with us, doesn’t matter.
When we grow in our self worth, we realise the importance of rest.
When we grow in our self worth, we draw stronger boundaries.
When we grow in our self worth, we don’t say yes when we want to say no.
When we grow in our self worth, it is easy to let go of non serving /undesirable relationships.
When we grow in our self worth, we learn to respect other people’s time and energy.
When we grow in self worth, we are impeccable in our commitments.
When we grow in self worth, we don’t let others violate our energy.
When we grow in self worth, we don’t get unsettled by someone disagreeing with us.
When we grow in self worth, we have more courage to pay attention to our emotions and to our needs.
When we grow in self worth, we strive to be in alignment with our soul gifts and expression.
When we grow in self worth, we don’t question our abilities and the trust in them deepens.
When we grow in self worth, we grow in self love.
Aho !!
by Neelam Nanwani | Feb 16, 2022 | Soul Words
The process of unconditional love and the lesson to learn unconditional love is or can be the toughest lesson to learn.
When we talk about unconditional love, we often imply it for others. But, if we are on the path of self real- I – zation, then we cannot forget the Self or I in the process.
And so, in my understanding, the aspect of uncondtional love applies to one’s own self as much as it applies to others.
While being in a state of unconditional love for others, if we feel violated or abused in the process, then drawing boundaries and standing tall for oneself implies unconditional love for the self.
Unconditional love doesn’t imply letting others walk over you.
Hence, unconditional love with boundaries while honoring the self and being in that space for self – first and foremost, is a tricky balance most of the times.
Unconditional love doesn’t imply being a martyr for the other or saboteur for the self.
Drawing this balance, requires us to be in our center, in our heart space so we can do and be from there rather than old imprints, past hurts, exploitations or wounds.
The need to be needed, the need to be accepted and acknowledged often makes us over strech our sense of being and yet at the same time the anger for being violated, not being seen rears its ugly head.
This dichotomy is often treachorous as it hides the real self, masks the soul’s lessons and often endeavors to trick us in unique ways.
It is like a trickster tricking us to show the other is loving us while we might just be a beggar picking up every crumb being thrown our way.
While we learn to say no to the crumbs being thrown our way, mercilessly being naked and present to what stirs within, we can offer unconditional love to the orphan child within.
He/she is waiting for us to receive it, hold it, love it, accept it. The orphan child is waiting to be seen/ held/ loved and re-united with our SELF.
The orphan child within weeps the pain of the adult self too. When the adult self becomes present to this pain, and learns to parent the self through various ways, it is then that the pain of the child self is shed and it is then that the child self feels safe to return home.
Is your inner child weeping? What are its joys and sorrows? Is it caged by your inner critic?
Which are some of the ways you could connect to these parts within you?
Could you sing to your child self? Could you eat a meal with her/him ?
Could you hold your child self’s hand and take it for a walk?
Could you teach it to marvel at sunrise, sunset, stars or the moon?
Could you swing with your child self?
Could you write a letter to him/her?
Could you remind him/her, how far along you both have come?
Could you ask ur child self what brings it joy? What are its needs?
Spending daily some time with our child self keeps our innocent wise self alive and makes the adult self be more present too.
Do introspect, try and share.
by Neelam Nanwani | Feb 7, 2022 | Soul Words
One moment I breathe easy
Another moment I gasp for my breath.
One moment I feel a great return,
Another moment I feel I am drowning and sinking.
Death has taught me so much,
And yet I wish loss wasn’t a teacher.
Dying and being reborn is a choice.
Some choices we make while living,
Some choices we make while leaving.
Death brings freedom,
Freedom from the cage that we build when we live.
We tame n create self bondage,
And then we crave to be free.
When free, we crave connection again.
And through the connection we cage or become encaged again.
Death and re birth (literal or metaphoric) isn’t a linear journey.
Both are intertwined.
One cell dying while simultaneously giving rise to another.
One breath ceasing and giving rise to another.
Like never ending waves of the ocean of life,
We keep ebbing and flowing.
Often befuddled, amidst control and surrender, plagued with fear n loss
Enmeshed, entangled.. yet seeking to be free and fly away to the stars
Only to come back and re create old story and aching to be free again.
Maya. – she is NOT illusion,
But a human experience fully embodied and experienced.
But we neither live her fully nor understand her mystery.
Mastery – did we come here to live fully the human or did we come here to elevate to what we already descended from?
Mystery is woven in each breath. And In the pain we often forget.
This secret, this search keeps us on a perpetual quest.
But what if Life, the great human existence and experience we often call as Maya is what we have exactly come here for?
The mirage that we seek in the spirit, in the outer, what if it is actually inside us.
We seek to liberate through understanding and mastering energy. But what if the mastery is also or only to understand and embody the mystery of the wisdom of matter, the body, the earth ??
For, what is Awakening if not being awakened to the wisdom of this Great Plain we have been sent to ?
What if we need the earth instead of earth needing us ??
My only knowing so far has been that duality is oneness. Oneness is duality.
All routes lead to the same truth. The truth, which is only Relative and hence The Great Mystery.
by Neelam Nanwani | Feb 5, 2022 | Soul Words
Whenever someone in distress reaches out to you, what is your innate natural tendency? How do you respond or react?
Through the journey of my grief and loss, I have observed that more often than not, many begin to unconsciously bypass how the other is feeling in the given moment. We either start correcting them or are propelled to give some solution or advise or we donot know how to respond so we stay quiet or we unconsciously start identifying with that person by saying, “yaa this happened to me too and I did this or that.
The worst thing I have heard is, “Oh.. for you, its been only a year of pain..you don’t know how many years I suffered and remained in pain.”
It made me angry. It made me feel, my pain is not being witnessed and is invalid. Or is not great enough as your pain to be acknowledged. I felt not seen.
Our pain has also become competitive. Oh..my pain is bigger than your pain..so why are you wining?
I have been fortunate enough to be held by my online community of students in my journey of grief and loss and yet I have realised how ill equipped we all are when someone expresses their pain and angst.
We don’t even know what to say, let alone being in pure embodied Presence.
This has led me to write this article.
Something you might consider saying to a person in distress :-
I acknowledge how you feel.
More often than not, we always rush to correct the person who is feeling a certain emotion or give advise or ask them to fix it or release it.
Be brave, move on, how can you feel this way, stop being a victim, brushing aside what someone is feeling, keep yourself busy ..these are some of the ways we address someone’s emotions / pain.
More so, we in the healing fraternity have learnt jargons about releasing, healing, moving on, being positive.
We there by give a signal to the person’s psyche that whatever he/she is feeling IS not ok.
We indirectly bring shame to their experience.
How about re wiring it to say, “I may not fully understand what you are going through, but it is ok to feel what you are feeling”. (This too shall pass). Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok. You ARE ok. I hear you fully. Please share/ vent whatever is flowing within you fully. Please don’t keep it inside. I am fully present.
All that a person in sorrow or pain needs is a fully present container.
We all have the ability to find solutions based on our individual understanding provided our sense of self is intact. Having a fully present container creates a safe space within the person to be held without judgement n shame to his / her experience. When this container is available, the person’s sense of Self returns faster. It is then that the person might be receptive for suggestions or possible solutions.
However, the first step is to Not Discard how they feel but acknowledge how they feel.
When a person is in pain or distress, their sense of Self is greatly diminished. By invalidating their experience and pain, we are further shaking their foundation and sense of self.
A person might start internalising, ” something is wrong with me. I am unable to get through this.”
The pain has already broken the person from inside. Invalidating one’s experience can further damage sense of self and self worth.
Every emotion is also a cycle. Just the way one cannot jump from sunrise directly to the night time, one has to go through mid day sun and sunset, similarly our emotions have to go through a cycle of feeling them fully before they fade.
Let’s build our vocabulary to, ” I may not fully understand how you feel, I acknowledge what you are saying. I hear you.”
It goes a long way dear ones in building bridges, bringing a person home from the deep trenches of his/her dark tunnels.
