The process of unconditional love and the lesson to learn unconditional love is or can be the toughest lesson to learn.
When we talk about unconditional love, we often imply it for others. But, if we are on the path of self real- I – zation, then we cannot forget the Self or I in the process.
And so, in my understanding, the aspect of uncondtional love applies to one’s own self as much as it applies to others.
While being in a state of unconditional love for others, if we feel violated or abused in the process, then drawing boundaries and standing tall for oneself implies unconditional love for the self.
Unconditional love doesn’t imply letting others walk over you.
Hence, unconditional love with boundaries while honoring the self and being in that space for self – first and foremost, is a tricky balance most of the times.
Unconditional love doesn’t imply being a martyr for the other or saboteur for the self.
Drawing this balance, requires us to be in our center, in our heart space so we can do and be from there rather than old imprints, past hurts, exploitations or wounds.
The need to be needed, the need to be accepted and acknowledged often makes us over strech our sense of being and yet at the same time the anger for being violated, not being seen rears its ugly head.
This dichotomy is often treachorous as it hides the real self, masks the soul’s lessons and often endeavors to trick us in unique ways.
It is like a trickster tricking us to show the other is loving us while we might just be a beggar picking up every crumb being thrown our way.
While we learn to say no to the crumbs being thrown our way, mercilessly being naked and present to what stirs within, we can offer unconditional love to the orphan child within.
He/she is waiting for us to receive it, hold it, love it, accept it. The orphan child is waiting to be seen/ held/ loved and re-united with our SELF.
The orphan child within weeps the pain of the adult self too. When the adult self becomes present to this pain, and learns to parent the self through various ways, it is then that the pain of the child self is shed and it is then that the child self feels safe to return home.
Is your inner child weeping? What are its joys and sorrows? Is it caged by your inner critic?
Which are some of the ways you could connect to these parts within you?
Could you sing to your child self? Could you eat a meal with her/him ?
Could you hold your child self’s hand and take it for a walk?
Could you teach it to marvel at sunrise, sunset, stars or the moon?
Could you swing with your child self?
Could you write a letter to him/her?
Could you remind him/her, how far along you both have come?
Could you ask ur child self what brings it joy? What are its needs?
Spending daily some time with our child self keeps our innocent wise self alive and makes the adult self be more present too.
Do introspect, try and share.