We all have such a deep need within each one of us to be recognised for who we are.
It gives a signal to our wounded psyches that we matter and that we deserve to exist.
When we are recognized for our being, we feel validated. We feel we matter. We feel we are not insignificant in this vast universe and we try to make a sense of why do we need to continue to live.
This sense of living gives us a meaning, a purpose to our existence. This inspires us to keep going and fuels our healthy ego.
Unfortunately this also keeps us in the loop of continuing to seek validation from others and continue to be in a space of proving our point of view.
The moment this doesn’t happen, our ego self feels threatened and is pained. The result is numbing, disassociation, anxiety, anger, frustration or any other way in which the child self wants to express itself or protect itself from this hurt or pain of not feeling significant or worthy or being unseen.
Yes, it is one of the 6 basic human needs to be seen and recognized.
This need to be seen and recognized keeps us on our toes and doesn’t let our seeking and pursuits end.
We keep seeking from one road to another, one shop to another, one job to another, one phone to another, one home, car, pieces of clothing to another.
The pendulum swings to the other end when we don’t realise that in the process of seeking and why we are seeking it, we forgot WHAT is it that we began to seek in the first place.
At the end of the day, we all wish to feel appreciated, valued and acknowledged for who we are and what we are here to be and do.
But somewhere in this process of feeling significant, we also invite the feeling of being insignificant.
Yes, there are many detours on this earth walk called life.
Before we realise it, we who in actuality desired to be seen, appreciated and validated, also somehow begin to hide and play small. (Various reasons, for this, for sure).
The dichotomy between feeling validated and being seen AND playing small and hiding keeps us ENTANGLED and looped in.
This sometimes projects as over giving (need to be needed and feel valued and important), anger for feeling helpless or violated (lack of boundaries) or totally being self centered (over compensation).
We are wounded adults in some way or the other and our inner child is in constant need for this reassurance that he/she matters and is valuable.
The constructs of society do not teach us that we do not have to EARN this significance. That we matter and are an important strand in the web of life no matter what.
This lack of embodied awareness also keeps us away from our true BEing and constantly keeps us encaged in our doing.
This whole process creates undesirable trauma and imprints and then we keep busy in another pursuit to feel significant by getting obsessed about it through our “healing process*.
What we do not realize is that we are trying to fill something with something whereas the process of Real-I-zation and the true awakening is that we already ARE enough.
And that no external substances like career, job, money, home or healing practice is going to fill that emptiness of the worthiness pot.
And through my own pitfalls while being on this journey of mending the brokenness within, TRYING to fill it up with this or that, I am beginning to realise that nothing I DO can fill this pot.
Not because I am trying to fill the worthiness with something external..
BUT
Because the pot that I thought was empty IS actually already full. However, no one has ever told me so nor have we been taught to Access That which already IS & Exists.
Our living in this earthly walk comes always with conditions attached as emerged through the human construct.
We do not know or perhaps are never categorically taught to
Access That Which Already IS.
We are only fed with conditional worthiness.
I am worthy to be seen only if this happens or I am worthy to be recognised only if I do this or that and so on.
And in my opinion, to be able to access what already IS there, IS the true purpose of healing and our BEing.
Nothing less. Nothing more.
To access I AM is the true journey.
Is there a destination ? Does it matter as long as “I AM” ??