Grandfather sky, the wind spirits, the bird people, father sun called out to me. (In shamanism, we refer to all of nature as all our relations and we call them by addressing them as people. Such as tree people, mountain people, rock people, flower people and so on).
I needed to be in the open to experience the vastness of the sky, the gentle soothing morning breeze on my face, sun and his heat to warm my empty broken spirit and the lightness of the birds – flying overhead, making eye contact and chirping.
Although my knees were hurting, I made an endeavour to climb the staircase to reach the terrace of my building.
Grandfather sky welcomed me with a broad smile. I felt alive. It was as if a protective guardian/Elder was watching over me. The early morning breeze caressed my cheeks and that began my communion with nature.
I walked back and forth, prayed to the sun, watched the birds and suddenly a wave of grief engulfed me.
My body was enjoying the experience and yet I couldn’t understand why grief came upon me.
I walked a couple of rounds on the terrace. It reminded me of the good old days when I have sat on this terrace, did my shamanic work, prayed for my depression and have been showered with many a guidance while I navigate through multiple shamanic initiations in my current journey.
This terrace has beautifully held me, enveloped me with its love, been a container of all my emotions and illnesses. It has been a witness to my twin flame journey when we both went to witness sunrise and prayed for my twin’s hernia surgery.
We have sat there in mild winter sunlight and we have drummed quite a bit as well.
The terrace with the vastness of the sky above it always reminds me and helps me re-member my vastness, grandeur and flight whenever I seem to forget that in the scheme of mundane chores and challenges.
During covid, when I had no one to talk to (Paul was in the US at the time) or after Paul’s passing in 2021, the terrace has been my single most loyal companion.
It has listened to my cries and screams, celebrated my drumming, welcomed my prayers when I sat on the staircase to help departed souls transition with ease during covid. It has been in full partnership with me. I have received from this terrace like I have not received from a human friend.
It has reminded me over and over again that I am not alone and that the whole universe is working with me and for me and is there for me.
So today, as I prayed for divine grace to bring ease to my spiritual journey, I cried and at the same time, felt so much gratitude for this space.
In, shamanism, we believe that EVERYTHING IS ALIVE and everything is connected to everything else. We believe that the entire universe is in partnership with us and co creating with us and for us.
I feel deep gratitude for the terrace holding space for me, co creating with me, present to me and embracing me without judgement or gyaan.
Perhaps it is this unconditional love that brought tears to my eyes.
They were tears of gratitude. And with this gratitude I returned back home to resume my day.
Foundation of Shamanism workshop is returning on April 27-28 2024. To learn more:
✉️ neelamnanwani@yahoo.in
📞 9979901933
🌐 shamanic-vision.net
Header Photo by Kelly